I am always reading topics about X person feeling sorry for himself and Y person saying their life is a failure. While it does make me feel better about myself, i thought i would share some tips on things you can do to make realistic improvements to your life. This isn't copied from some life-coach bullshit or anywhere else, these are things i have learned from being a shy and ugly late-teenager to a confident adult. I never had many girlfriends, maybe only 3 or 4, but i came to realise that this was because i NEVER made a move on a girl ever. I waited for girls to move on me. I suspect most guys here are the same. I was so scared of rejection. What changed was meeting my best friend, who aswell as being a cool guy was totally reckless when it came to girls. He would just casually slip pickup lines into small talk, innuendos where they dont belong and it actually worked reasonably often. Girls are even shyer than guys generally and if you only wait for girls to move on you then you will be waiting a long time. You have to make the most of things that are in your control. What i always see in friends who lack confidence is that they obsess over one part of themselves and let everything else collapse with it.

Start with your clothes. Throw out band t-shirts, hell throw out any t-shirt with a lame slogan on it. Don't wear black, it's depressing, makes you appear less approachable and makes you look fatter contrary to popular belief. Don't wear dirty shoes. Get yourself some nice blue or grey jeans that fit you, some sweaters in mild colours and some shirts. There's nothing sadder than seeing someone in their late 20's still dressing like they are 17. You don't need an armani suit, just get some decent clothes in neutral colours that fit. You don't need an expensive phone or fancy watches, just some decent clothes. Girls like older men, we all know that. They like the comfort of security in an older guy. They don't want some immature loser who is too scared to accept his own age and act accordingly.

Next your body. The biggest tip i can give anyone is to start working out. I think that when most average guys think of working out, they are intimidated by the thought of huge bodybuilders laughing at them in the gym, or not knowing what equipment they need, or just the costs of it. Forget all that, all you need is a barbell and a couple of a dumbells, with a few free weights. You can kit yourself out for $50 or less. Start off just reading about exercises and how to do them. Try doing compound exercises like bench presses, deadlifts, military presses and squats to gain overall strength. A great free resource is here: http://www.exrx.net/Lists/Directory.html

Working out is so important because it can and will change your life. You have a routine, say 3 days per week, different body part each time. You have goals, whether to lose 2lbs/week or gain 1 inch to your arms in the next few months. Your sleep will improve, your face shape will change and become better defined, you will produce more testosterone which boosts your libido. And when you start seeing results (and you will), your confidence will rocket. You will realise that most guys are weeds, even the attractive ones. You might never be leonardo di caprio but having a hot body is enough for a lot of girls and this is an area most guys fail at. In only 6 months you can start seeing good results which will motivate you to continue. Overweight people have the added benefit of being able to lose fat and gain muscle at the same time while they are starting out. It is proven that women are attracted to men with a V-shaped torso, which is not a genetic thing, it just comes with losing fat and gaining strong lat and shoulder muscles. You will need to change your diet to go with this. No more fastfood, no more sugary drinks. Start eating more quality meat, vegetables, fibre and wholemeal foods. Takes some getting used to at first but you will get used to it and it will make a DRASTIC change to your appearance. Just improving your diet alone can drop 30lbs from an overweight guy. Girls like a guy who eats well, it shows that he cares about his body. It will improve your skin complexion and also make your breath better (and your cum taste better lol).

Next tip: Get a tan. Natural is better. Start going for an afternoon walk for 30-45mins every day if you can, its a great way to get a natural tan and improve your fitness. If you are a typical internet troll then you probably don't get enough sunlight and don't realise just how pale you are compared to most people. Getting a tan will instantly improve your attractiveness exponentially. If you can't get into the sun then use a spray, anything is better than looking like a ghost. Having a tan sends signals to other people about your lifestyle. You appear happier, richer, and able to enjoy more holidays. Girls are subconsiously attracted to this.

Your hair. If you have a full head of hair, go to a salon (a proper one) and ask for advice on a style. Chances are that your hairstyle doesn't suit your faceshape and hides your features. A good hairstyle shows confidence. Most ordinary barbers don't really care how you look when you leave, they just want to keep people moving quickly. If you are losing your hair, buzz it short or to about 1 inch length and brush forwards like Sting. If your hair is almost gone then just shave it off. You NEED a tan to pull this off however. If you have a decent body + a tan then shaving your head works on almost anyone.

Get a hobby. No, browsing the internet is not a hobby. Computer games might be fun (i love them too), but unfortunately you sacrifice a lot of social opportunities by playing them, so you really need another hobby on the side. There are so many things you can do. I bet you know of something that you always wanted to do, but never did because you thought it was for jocks, or that you aren't cool enough. I always wanted to do martial arts, and i always wanted to play tennis more seriously. I already play a few musical instruments which is a good area for other people to start in. Going to group music lessons is fun and a good way to meet people. Even if contact is only with guys, those male friends are a great way to get introduced to girls. You could decide that you want to take the bodybuilding more seriously which is cool too. Girls love a guy with a plan and goals, especially when he looks that good.

So you have the clothes, the weight training plan, the hairstyle, the hobbies, theres nothing to stop you. Don't listen to people who tell you that you have to love yourself however you are, thats bullshit and no one really believes it. Why should you love a depressed loser who watches internet porn all day? Change yourself, don't let labels define you. If you are fat, don't accept yourself as a fatty, start losing the weight. This is nothing to do with conforming to society, it is about releasing the potential and confidence that you have hidden away for so long. I'm not even going to mention the paedophiles on here. I don't think there's anything wrong with finding teenagers attractive, but if you like preteens then you should first try to improve your lifestyle like i have pointed out to meet more normal girls, and if that fails seek psychological help.

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This would be helpful if i didn't have any friends and or was a depressed loser.

Well written though.

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i like overweight computer geeks, but true, girls like me are few and far between, so gogo change depressed guys ^^

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Ill sum it all up for you.

If youre fat lose weight, if youre skinny bulk up a bit, get some decent clothes, a job and be more social: go to parties etc.

Also "grey jeans"

wut?

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Now do one for gay guys please :D

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Thanks for stating the obvious OP.

You do realize though that there are more reasons to be depressed than supercicial ones like not having a girlfriend though, right? And that maybe some people like solidarity and are depressed because of more important matters?

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Nice post, OP. I'm neither depressed nor a loser, but I still kind of needed that. Not so much because I didn't know most of it, but because I haven't been living up to it as much as I'd like to.

By the way, could you tell us more about how your friend flirts with women? I can get flirty with them occasionally, but I really can't control who I flirt with at all. In fact, I may just be reciprocating intuitively now that I think about it. Specific examples of successful flirting would be very helpful. I also have no clue how to get a girl to actually go out with me. I'm around women a lot (art major—I'm surrounded by them), and I often hear them say—amongst themselves—that they never actually end up in relationships with guys who ask them out on dates straight out (although they often do go on the date). There must be some other way to go about forming a relationship with a girl that I'm just totally oblivious to.

@55,603

> And that maybe some people like solidarity and are depressed because of more important matters?

…"solitude", perhaps?

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Obviously if you're not a depressed loser then why the fuck do you think this has any relevence to you? Retard. People who say they are depressed about more important things are just in denial, it's pathetic but true. Everyone has relatives who die of cancer, or friends in prison etc. It's no excuse to be a fucking sad sack and feel sorry for yourself. 33% of men will get depression at some stage, that doesn't mean they turn into paedo hermits. Lots of people here will identify themselves in this post. They either realise where they are going wrong and work to change things or cry like babies that it's everyone elses fault and they are the normal ones.

Anyone can say "lose weight, get a job, get friends". If it was that easy then everyone would do it. The truth is that most people don't have what they want and they are too scared to get it which is why they sit in their room on the internet all night, and it's why anontalk is flooded with losers.

As for my friend's pickup lines, they are just funny, they make girls laugh because they are obviously not serious. Taking yourself too seriously is a massive turn off for girls.

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I don't use the pickup lines so much because i don't have the same fast wit as him. You either have it or you don't. I try to make up for it with confidence. Good eye contact, talking clearly and intelligently goes a long way. If you ever stand in a group at a party for instance, with some girls and guys, you can see a lot of the guys mumbling when they talk to girls, or looking at other people. You don't realise it when you're doing it but it looks really insecure and that you're not interested in what she has to say.

I'll admit, talking to a complete stranger off the bat is hard. All you can really do is ask her name, where she's from, and what she does. If she smiles and elaborates her answers then she's interested. If she feels awkward and gives short answers then she isn't. If you have some kind of mutual interest, like say you are at a library you can talk about books, or at an internet cafe you can talk about her favourite sites. Simply stuff really but people just need to be reminded that talking to people is more about body language and presentation, than content.

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@55,614

Actually, not everyone is concerned with getting a tan, working out, looking nice, or having promiscuous sex with women. And no, by more important matters I didn't mean friends dying or going to prison. You see, some people aren't actually narcissistic morons who can't see past their own personal experiences. Some people actually care about their societies. I know, it must be a shocking concept to a person who's so incredibly vain that they would try to artifically tan their skin.

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OP, @55619 had a great reply for you. Here is my reply:

@55614

Hmm… I do wonder what has made you an expert on depression when many psychologists and psychiatrists may not even have a full grasp. Of course I could be wrong as your advice at the beginning was fairly well written.

> paedo hermits

Well that sums up your attitude towards both paedophiles and hermits. I see not a problem with eremitism or with paedophilia. Eremitism being the practice of living a mostly solitary life or even living a completely solitary life. Hermits are not lonely people. They often enjoy being alone or are alone for religious purposes. I fail to see how hermits tie into this discussion though. Just like the Grinch I am puzzling my puzzler but my puzzler is puzzled. If I carry on puzzling my puzzler my puzzler might get sore. I wonder if you meant people with shyness. Moving on. Paedophilia is the attraction (but is not by necessity acted on) to pubescent and prepubescent people. Your use of the phrase implies that there is something wrong with these people and they are often the same thing, not to mention that you appear to theorize that there is a link between depression, 2/3 of the male sex, paedophilia and eremitism as is seen in the quote:

> 33% of men will get depression at some stage, that doesn't mean they turn into paedo hermits.

With some extrapolation of that quote we can clearly see that 33% of men are not paedophiles and are not hermits but are depressed. Therefore 67% are not depressed but do turn into "paedo hermits" and "paedo hermits" are bad things due to the negative implication in the phrasing. This begs the question of why are you trying to help depressed people if they will turn into "paedo hermits" when they enter the 67% of men?

> Lots of people here will identify themselves in this post.
I seriously doubt that. Of course I know why you think that is true as you later make the assumption that AnonTalk is:
> flooded with losers.
Of course this brings to mind a question. If AnonTalk is "flooded with losers" and they are "paedo hermits" why are you even here?

> Anyone can say "lose weight, get a job, get friends". If it was that easy then everyone would do it
Evidently you can too. As your original post was one big long winded version of:
> Get a tan. Work out. Lose weight. Get a fucking tan. Work the fuck out. Lose weight fatso. Don't be depressed you moron. Get a girlfriend. You fucking want a girlfriend. I don't care if you don't care about having a girlfriend I am telling you YOU WANT ONE. You still don't want one? Don't make me come over there. I will kick your fucking arse with my macho tanned arms and everyone will hate you and will get girlfriends because they all have macho tanned arms too and you will never get a girlfriend because of your lack of uber-tan and uber-macho-ness. etc. etc.
If you think calling people losers is going to help you obviously have some preaching/teaching issues. Preaching is when one is condescending towards another whilst making a point and is usually automatically rejected. Teaching is only possible between [perceived] equals and is the only consistently successful way to help a open minded person. In my opinion of course.

As you are preaching, OP, you like to log on to a place for "losers", you like to tell them that they are losers and you think paedophiles and hermits are one and the same, I can only conclude that you, OP, are a fucking moron. Actually the previous sentence could probably use some fragmentation haha. Oh well, I am tired and need sleep.

Yes, this reply is a mix of piss-taking, a few good points and a little fuck you chucked in for flavour but I like it that way.

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@55,617

I'll keep that in mind.

By the way, to the guys bitching about how they don't want a girlfriend, love to be alone, think OP is a retard for posting this, etc. etc.—take a look around AT. There are plenty of threads where people claim that they are losers and blame it on their lack of a social skills, specifically with women. I think it's pretty obvious that he is making this post mainly for those people. If you're satisfied with your lifestyle, then simply move on to the next thread.

Personally, though, I feel like you guys must be insecure about something to lash out like that.

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Great advice OP, especially for those people that sometimes post the "I am depressed" topics on AnonTalk. Your thing about "taking oneself too seriously" is something I need to watch out for. I end up doing that a lot with girls, and I'm being to realize how it can really strain a conversation.

@55,619

> Actually, not everyone is concerned with getting a tan, working out, looking nice, or having promiscuous sex with women.
Chill the fuck out man. OP obviously isn't one of those vain idiot teenagers you commonly see, so save the anger. I know exactly what kind of person you're talking about, and he's not one of them. If you look towards the bottom of his post, he suggests getting a hobby. Obviously, the OP's not all about looking nice and having casual sex.

> You see, some people aren't actually narcissistic morons who can't see past their own personal experiences.
OP's talking about self improvement, not narcissism. There's always things you can do to improve yourself, why is that such a big problem? Confidence is not narcissism. OP's trying to say that you don't have to be a self-hating teenager or a vain narcissistic fuck. There's an in between.

> I know, it must be a shocking concept to a person who's so incredibly vain that they would try to artificially tan their skin.
If you read his post carefully, you'd notice that OP suggested to get a natural tan by going for an afternoon walk. Nothing wrong with that, right?

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I disagree with all of this. If the girl doesn't agree with who you are, then fuck her. Be who you want, fulfill the image of your self that you have, and there must surely be one girl of the ~3 billion? that must be like you.
Fuck you with your 'cut your hair to one inch', 'wear 'proper clothes'', etc. YOu seem to me a typical product of capitalist society. Proper clothes indeed.
There are of course common standards, like not being overweight, but be your self damnit.

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The criticisms to OP's contributions here are so poorly fleshed out that I don't believe they merit a proper response.

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@55,651

Shut the fuck up, fag. Why are you ragging on the OP? He gave good advice. Now… it seems as if you're jsut mad because you've never seen a non relative woman naked. Take OP's advice, faggy.

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It started out allright, then it ended up in the same lame bullshit frat loser manages to squirt out: work out & get a tan.
Seriously, those two are only for people with downright terrible looks (and getting a tan as a guy is ALWAYS GAY, even if BALLS AREN'T TOUCHING). What you really need is fucking charisma. Of course, you need a bit over the median IQ for this so it's not for everyone.

The only real truth here was the confidence part, that is the root of everything else that leads to success. All the rest was very superficial bullshit. If you have more than half a brain, you will recognize this.

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@55,651

Yeah, I'm just going to stop arguing with you guys. You didn't even read the OP's post, what the fuck are you even yelling about?

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Good advice OP

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The thing I hate about anontalk is that every time I think I'm being trolled, I realize that most of these fucks are actually real. I love how I see everyone whining about how "oooohh I'm depressed for deeper reasons" but no one is willing to try anything, or even accept someone else's advice from how they broke free of their own angst

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