My social life has been almost entirely limited to Internet forums since this summer began. Yesterday, I thought that I would be going back to school nix social skills due to such eremitism. I was understandably a nervous wreck. I spent the night working out humourous remarks and topics of discussion to supplement for the dynamic personality I thought I had lost.

Fortunately, my pessimism was off-mark. Spontaneous jokes came easily, and awkward silences were minimal. It turned out to be a great day. We (grade 12!) spent a two-hour chemistry class molding Play-Doh. My little girl friend (7) even gave me a beaded necklace with my name as a belated birthday gift.

That doesn't mean I won't feel nervous again tonight. I worry about becoming "boring" or "impersonable" to my peers every night, and I have since grade 7. Which brings me to my question: Do those kids who seem to be surfing through life have the same fears? Do they stay awake at night formulating tomorrow's conversations? The contrast is almost comical…

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Well… your headline seems reversed. Surely the "nerdy" ones are the ones that are most likely to feel like this, rather than the "cool" ones?

> My little girl friend (7) even gave me a beaded necklace with my name as a belated birthday gift.

It happens to everyone else…

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Everybody has these feelings! Some kids don't lie awake thinking of these things but every person has the thought that someone else is cooler than they are. it's just that some kids have developed masking mechanisms that happen to work. Just look at your peers as your equals, this may take time to develop as a habit, but the most important facet of this is your own self-image and that has to be healthy. Just remember that no person is better than you. If you know that you try your best every day to be kind to others, than there's absolutely no reason to feel inferior to anyone else! Once this really sinks in, you WILL develop friendships in real life with people who value your personality just the way it is. I can't tell you how long this will take, it could take years even, but all the more time to WORK ON YOURSELF!

I'm not recommending that you approach others in school all the time, especially if you're not comfortable with that. Just invest the time in making yourself known to be a kind person…NOT A DOORMAT THAT ANYONE CAN WALK ON…but, a self-reliant, self-actualized guy with a healthy personal life. A person who DOESN'T NEED the approval of others, but who gladly welcoms If you're not close to your family, I suggest attempting to become more so. A person with a healthy family life at home is always better prepared to face the outside world.

If you can't do that, then you should, as I said, project a public image of a person who would make a good friend.

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I guess I'm an outlier. I don't really think about social situations until I'm actually in the middle of them. I get nervous when talking to people I don't know, like most, but it's on odd feeling for me. I don't really WANT the attention of most people. I guess I'm kind of isolationist towards 'strangers,' but, at the same time, I can't stand not being around people long stretches of time. I don't tend to care what the general group census thinks about me. In fact, the only people I tend to need attention from is people I already know and trust. Everyone else can go screw themselves. At least that's what my conscious mind seems to imply. However, this only applies to RL. On the internets, I usually want group acceptance. I'm fucked up, eh?

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"On the internets, I usually want group acceptance. I'm fucked up, eh?"
Haha, I see what you did there :P

Hmm… I don't usually think about ways to be more interesting in advance unless I'm trying to pick up a girl. And in those cases, the things I think of saying usually don't end up fitting anywhere in the conversation. I'm usually most successful if I don't think about what I'll talk about - just do it spontaneously. If I'm thinking about what I'll say, then I start to question my own motives and I feel guilty about acting like someone I'm not.
(But of course I always have an interesting opener or else it would be weird)

Usually I say I don't care what people think of me, but I'm starting to realize that I say that only because I expect people to think more highly of me when I sound like I don't care what they think. It's a bit of a paradox, but so is life. :)

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