Anonymous a3d0ad3e1f7ead9d487343c8cdee96f6 started this discussion 3 months (2008-09-05 17:08:40 UTC) ago:
I'm a tall, muscular guy in well above-average shape. I'm 18. I'm a gentleman. I'm funny. I'm highly intelligent. Older women I know claim I'm handsome. Except the "handsome" part, I know everything I have mentioned is true. Why am I so bad with women? If these things are true, why aren't women crawling all over me?
Two friends of mine, one male and one female, talked with me about this last night. The guy came to the conclusion that my mindset is the problem. I'm interested in philosophy, math, physics, etc. I like talking about politics, religion, and other substantive things. I'm a freshman in college and want to get into a long-term relationship.
What is my problem?
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Anonymous f82d376c16f8bfee3a51bd7a88a131ca replied with this 3 months (2008-09-05 17:11:50 UTC) ago, 3 minutes later (#57,711):
It depends on the girl, but your intelligence will probably intimidate her. Flirt, compliment her, be sweet. If you get a bite, jump on it and ask her to coffee. Reveal your beliefs much later.
Anonymous a76c83e432c7441f82dcecdb62c248de replied with this 3 months (2008-09-05 17:13:14 UTC) ago, 1 minute later (#57,712):
You're not like everyone else, you're a level above the majority. That's why you think you're bad with women, because most of them aren't like you. You need to find someone at your level. If you don't want to do that, then you need to dumb yourself down a bit. Get interested in things that everyone else your age is interested in.
Anonymous c9c91ff1d84db2bd37f5bd0d2ea341f8 replied with this 3 months (2008-09-05 19:40:02 UTC) ago, 2 hours later (#57,736):
You're not on the level of people who lol after every single thing they say, basically.
Anonymous 6f7eb4f92af0c20eae7285fa86e2ce32 replied with this 3 months (2008-09-05 19:49:34 UTC) ago, 10 minutes later (#57,737):
You sound exactly like the kind of guy that I'd love to have a relationship with. One thing that I also find important is a sense of humour. I can't like someone who can't make me laugh. Just be funny and confident and you'll find a woman who appreciates you for who you are.
Anonymous f1e3c86d9b0a1462f2822063153aab08 replied with this 3 months (2008-09-05 20:12:09 UTC) ago, 23 minutes later (#57,739):
The problem here, aside from your (I'm assuming) high standards, is women. Women, in general, only come in a few different varieties. There are attractive women who were fawned over their entire lives and given everything they want, and, as a result, never had to work for anything and are quite stupid. These are the women you want physically, but they're usually intimidated by intelligent, analytical people, instead preferring guys of equal intellectual capacity (douchebags and meatheads) who put up with and play along with their social mind games. Then there are women who did not have the benefit of physical beauty, and were forced to develop personality and interests. These are the women you want mentally, but they are simply not attractive enough to garner your attention. There are very few exceptions, and they're in very high demand. The chances that you'll ever find a woman who's both attractive and intelligent, rational, and fun are incredibly small, and the chances that she'll be available are even smaller. In summary: If you're looking for a long term relationship you need to lower your standards in regards to physical beauty or prepare to be lonely for a very long time.
Anonymous e812e61a0badb7f12895f61ae2e90520 replied with this 3 months (2008-09-05 20:41:42 UTC) ago, 30 minutes later (#57,754):
OP simply sounds boring. Most people who "like talking about… substantive things" tend to do more listening than talking, and thus end up being really boring. The also tend to be generally more concerned with talk than taking action, which is also boring. Finally, you are a college freshmen looking for a long term relationship, which is rather "oxymoronic" if you take a look around most institutes of higher education, and will surely be a larger turn off for most of your peers. The easy solution is to get involved with creating substantive things rather than talking about them.
Anonymous a76c83e432c7441f82dcecdb62c248de replied with this 3 months (2008-09-06 01:40:05 UTC) ago, 5 hours later (#57,815):
I think OP just needs tot ry really hard. There are women that are compatible with him, but he's going to have to really try to find them.
Anonymous a3d0ad3e1f7ead9d487343c8cdee96f6 (OP) replied with this 3 months (2008-09-06 09:07:31 UTC) ago, 7 hours later (#57,889):
So then, it looks like I just need to put myself out there! Am I right? Just have the guts to, after developing conversation, simply ask her out? How do I do that properly?
Anonymous 97ddaa2a137610bcb2c456f02fe78500 replied with this 3 months (2008-09-06 19:50:35 UTC) ago, 11 hours later (#57,973):
I'm a lot like you.
Go with a few, even if you don't especially like them. This is such a pain, but the basics are necessary. Learn the workings so you can. Enjoy it and get used to the feeling. But when one comes along (You'll know it because you'll feel something similar to you and different from them), drop the one you hold and take the one you want. Blast anything between you and her, because she is rare. It may be difficult, it may not. These rarities are sometimes fortresses, not taking anyone below their pedestal, but if she acknowledges your status as equal or impressive, it will end quickly, because you are also a rarity.
Relationships among the intelligentsia are nothing like the brainless Round Robin Fuck of high school. You will do things the way you want, because that is what you want. Don't listen to society. You are doomed to succeed.
You're only 18 like me though. You have time.
Anonymous a76c83e432c7441f82dcecdb62c248de replied with this 3 months (2008-09-06 22:45:18 UTC) ago, 3 hours later (#58,014):
@57,889Well, that's something you'll have to figure out. I'll tell you what I am doing though. I'm interested in a girl in one my classes. The professor declared group discussion time to work on a worksheet he handed out. I used that opportunity to talk with her about the question. This way, we aren't complete strangers when we walk by each other or see each other in the hall. I plan to eventually sit with her in the cafeteria after class; I've seen her there by herself so far.
Anonymous a3d0ad3e1f7ead9d487343c8cdee96f6 (OP) replied with this 3 months (2008-09-07 00:13:24 UTC) ago, 1 hour later (#58,040):
@58,014Right. And what will you do afterward? How do you tell her you're attracted to her and want to date her?
Anonymous a76c83e432c7441f82dcecdb62c248de replied with this 3 months (2008-09-07 01:37:09 UTC) ago, 1 hour later (#58,064):
@58,040Well, what the fuck, I'm not gonna go write "Will you be my girlfriend, Y/N" and slip it in her purse when she's not looking. From what I've gathered, you don't
tell her that you're attracted to her and you want to date her. You just do it. Once you think you've gotten to know her well enough, ask her if she wants to do something with you. Make sure you plan it out first though.
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