Alright… So here's my story…

I'm 18. I work as a supervisor at a southern fast food restaurant, and have a relatively cushy job. One day, this girl comes in to work; over time, she and I become pretty close friends, and we decide to spend the fourth of July together with a couple of her friends. One of her friends, she tells me, is exactly like me, and she believes we'll hit it off just great.

So the day comes and goes, her friend (I'll call her Girl 2 for now,) and I exchange IM screen names and part relatively happily. Then things get interesting.

Girl 2 comes and tells me over IM that she thinks I'm interested in Girl 1, and that I need to pursue her, because she thinks Girl 1 and I would make a good couple. I take her advice, and wind up going out on an actual date with Girl 1, making things more sexual than normal, all leading up to a kiss. The aftermath of this winds up being that Girl 1 and I enter a friends with benefits relationship, as I had told Girl 1 during our friendship phase that I didn't like relationships, since I've only had trouble with them, and that I didn't believe in love. She told me she was the same way, so it made sense that our relationship would be a little bit dysfunctional.

So Girl 1 and I start going out on the weekends, spending hours upon hours just making out and fooling around sexually. She's quite a prude, so we never go beyond basic fondling, but the relationship works out just fine for me.

And here is where things get messy.

I go away for a week to Florida. Girl 1, at the same time, goes on vacation with her family to Georgia. I bring my laptop with me, but Girl 1 doesn't, which gives Girl 2 and I a lot of time to talk. Turns out, Girl 2 and I have an absurd amount in common, and we wind up staying up late every night, sharing tons of ridiculously intimate things about ourselves that we never had told anyone; and things get a bit… different between us.

This all occurs around the end of the summer, so Girl 2 is about to go to college when I return, while I'm about to head back to high school for senior year (she actually is a few months younger than I am, but I wound up not meeting age requirements for Kindergarten in the state I was born in. Go figure.) Girl 2 invites me to her going away party, with both of us a little unsure about where we stand. After the party, she and I spent hours talking in her car, leading up to a kiss, followed by a few more hours of heavy making out.

Unfortunately, the night before this, Girl 1 had told me that she wanted to be 'exclusive' with me.

…Even though we weren't dating.

…And she told me in no uncertain terms would we ever have sex, or would she ever love me.

So Girl 2 and I continue our 'relationship,' which ultimately leads to a huge blow up, wherein I choose Girl 2 over Girl 1, because I feel like I might actually for once truly care about somebody.

Girl 2 obviously feels the same way, because she willingly chooses me over Girl 1, who was, up until all this started, her best friend.

And then comes this. We've been together for a little over a month now, and we call each other every night; we still haven't run out of things to say to one another, we both make each other laugh, and in general seem to be a great fit for one another.

But she's in college. 3 hours away from where I live. Yeah. It's a long distance relationship. And that's where fear comes into play.

I've been in enough relationships to develop what some might call a nasty cynicism about 'love' and relationships in general. Now that the initial weeks of this thing are over, this fear is beginning to set in; that this isn't going to last, and that I'm going to wind up very hurt because of this. I just don't know what to do. Do I take the chance with this girl, and hope that love works/will prevail? Do I take a neutral ground and set up contingencies for if things fall through? Or do I go the negative route and just end things with this girl now, rather than risk having something negative happen?

We've been through a lot, and the fact that she's with me now proves a lot to me about how she feels, but I can't help but feel this sense of fear/paranoia about the whole thing. Is this normal? What's happening to me? More importantly, where do I go from here?

Thanks for reading. I have a feeling I'm not the only one out there who has had this kind of problem with relationships.

• Spread
• Media
• Quote
• 109 visits

Just be yourself.

• Quote
• Cite

I have a long distance relationship as well, though mine is a little further apart.

Have been with the girl for about 7 month and we have a very close and intimate relationship. About six weeks ago I had to move back to my homecountry (Germany) though, so now she is in the US while I am in Germany (and won't see her till December). Also she graduated school and started college 4 weeks ago and I started at a new school here in Germany (one year younger than her).

Same as you I am scared that I might end up hurt, afraid that she might cheat on me and that I would lose her. But then again, I have turned down girls that asked me out here because I believe our relationship can hold (first time I really love somebody). So I hope she thinks the same way and also stays true.

I'd rather end up hurt in the end than end it now and lose the chance that our relationship might hold.
So if I were you I'd keep it up, and if you notice that something is going wrong you can still end it then.

• Quote
• Cite

I was in a long distance relationship for around 3 years. Deeply in love. She move near to eachother and we reciently broke up. Really painful but I'm glad it happened - being able to be on a relationship with her was worn it despite the pain because it made me a better and mor knowledgable person . What I'm getting at is that stop worrying and enjoy your time with girl two and stop worrying if shit with her will work together because honestly everything works out in the end. If you are confident any doubts she is having will fade away. She's probably just as nervous as you andndif your worried about shit things will get sour fast. Suck it up and me a good lover. Good luck OP!

• Quote
• Cite