First of all, let me clarify that I became aware that I was a pedo in my adult years since 2003 I think. So the next story is how I came to realize that I had those pedo feelings.

When I hit puberty, I became interested in girls my age only. In my teen years I would only had crushes on girls that were equal to my age or 2 years younger or older than my age. Then when I was 15 or 16, sometimes I started to find some 10-11 girls sexually attractive. When that happened, I always reasoned that it had to do with my male hormones. I thought “I have those feelings, because I may be a horny teen”. Because I didn’t feel any romantic feelings towards those preteens, I didn’t pay any attention to those sexual feelings. I didn’t find those sexual feelings toward some preteens strange, because I only had crushes on teen girls. All of this happened in my native country.

Then I moved to the country that I am currently living in. About 18, those sexual feelings towards some 10-11 girls got more intense and with more frequency, yet I kept thinking that I had those feelings because I still was a horny older teen. In those teen years, I never had friendships with preteens because I didn’t feel any emotional attraction towards them.

After high school right about when I was 19-20, something weird happened.
Somehow, I started to find some 8-9 girls sexually attractive. I thought those feeling were strange, and I reasoned that I had those feelings because I might have some kind of innocence fetish. Yet I didn’t give it any importance at all because I didn’t find most 8-9 girls sexually attractive at that time; just a very few ones. Sometimes, I did find an 8-9 girl attractive, then years later, I did find another attractive, and so on and on. So this attraction wasn’t a daily occurrence, that’s why I didn’t make any connection related to those feelings.

Years later, I started working in my current job. In my workplace, many families stay there for many hours, so from time to time I get to see many LGs for a few hours. All of the children are with their parents all the time in my workplace. My workplace has nothing to do with schools, or anything child-related.

A few months later after I began working there, without thinking, I started to check out LGs. Sometimes when I saw an attractive 7-11, I started to have sexual thoughts about her. But then I began noticing that I was checking out 7-9 girls much more frequently than before. That got me thinking. If I was lusting after 7-9 girls with much more frequency than with the 10-11 girls, then there was something weird. Having sexual thoughts for 10-11 girls was normal for me, but having those thoughts for undeveloped 7-8 girls was something entirely different and strange. A few days later I made the connection, I concluded that I might have some kind of pedophile attraction.
I was not shocked but I was a little worried; worried because I could never have a sexual encounter with a 7-9 girl because I knew it was a serious crime. Of course, I also knew that having sexual relations with 10-11 girls was also a crime. In that time of my life, I had never had a friendship with a 7-11 LG, nor did I care. They were just sexually attractive; I didn't care emotionally or romantically about them.

I kept checking out LGs, but then something interesting happened.
I began to notice that some of the LGs that I was checking out started to be aware that I was staring at them. When I stared at LGs for some time, she began to notice that and then she began to stare back at me. She looked at me like thinking "I know you are staring at me, but I do not know why". She didn't look at me scared or offended; she just looked at me with curiosity.
I was very surprised with that behavior, yet I was also so delighted to get the attention of a LG. I simply like it when I get their attention; it is pure pleasure, I can't get enough of it.

A month later, my family and I moved to another house. In my new house, I had as neighbors a family who were friends with my family. One of the members of that family was a LG called J. Sometimes, J and her mother came to visit us for many hours. One day, J asked if she could play with my computer, I said yes. From that moment on, she went to play with my computer almost every day (accompanied with her mom, of course).
In those days, J was 7, so I started to notice that she was pretty, not only that, I started to see that she was very attractive, so I began to stare at her. Of course, she started to notice that and began to stare back at me. I didn’t have any kind of friendship with J while she was in my house. For me, J was only a very attractive sexual object to look at.

A few weeks later, it happened. I could still remember that moment as if was yesterday. Describing that moment always gives me so much joy, so here it goes:
It was a holiday, my family, J’s family and many more families went together to some park to celebrate. In the park, I had just finished eating and went to some place to rest in front of some cars.
I sat and then when I looked up, J was in the window of one of the cars. She was staring at me deep, deeply, truly deep. I stared back at her with my mouth open in amazement. We were looking at each other eyes for about 15 seconds without even blinking. And at that moment:

Something moved inside me.
My insides were moving uncontrollably.
I felt a rush of emotions in my body.
This powerful high was enveloping me
I was in a complete bliss state.

After that incredible moment, I knew that I had different feelings toward J. I had emotional and romantic feelings toward her. I fell in love with J. She had become my first LG crush and my first child-friend ever. Without even knowing it, I had become a girl lover.

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As long as it just stays as a fantasy it's fine.

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Eventually, you're going to do something you're going to regret. Break the habit while you still can.

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A habit? Is there anything he can do about it? Probably not. Of course pedophilia is kind of a disorder… children are just not meant for intercourse, but until now there is no cure. I feel sorry for all those pedos…

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You should do something about it in the same way a person with thoughts about murder would. Stay away from people you feel this urge towards, and get some help before you do something stupid and end up in jail. Seriously, I know it's your "thing" but it is wrong. Get a shrink, start drinking, whatever you feel is needed to stop you from going down a path that ends only in unhappiness.

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Don't listen to them, there's nothing wrong about pedophilia. You can have sex with her without "raping" or "abusing" her. Just make sure it's very pleasurable for her.

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Lucky for you, you live in the porn age. Just keep your shit on the intrawebs, like every other sick fuck out there (myself included, though I'm not into lolis), and you'll be fine.

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DO NOT ruin your life. Seriously. If you are caught, you'll have to register as a sex offender. You will never get a job and your neighbors will hate you. I have 2 relatives that got caught for something similar. One is still in jail, and the other one can't get a job.

Once you're on the registered sex offenders list, your picture gets placed on an online database for everyone to see. When you move, the police have to notify all of your new neighbors.

Please, just stop this fetish now. You can control yourself. Get a legal-age girlfriend and have sex all the time. Do whatever it takes, but do not get caught.

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