I'm 20 years old. When I was 12, my parents started homeschooling me. I didn't have any friends and I was perfectly fine with staying home, so I spent the next 6 years staying inside of my house and playing video games. I became so accustomed to staying home all day that now I'm uncomfortable with leaving my house. I don't have any interest in doing things outside of my house. I have way more fun when I'm at home than I do anywhere else, and I enjoy playing video games way more than doing anything else. I just have no interest whatsoever in anything outside of my home.

I've never had sex, never had a girlfriend, never even held a girl's hand. Almost every one of my acquaintances at school has an active love life / sex life and talks about it casually. I'm the only one who's alone, the only one who's inexperienced, the only one who's unwanted, the only one who's unattractive. It makes me feel insecure and inferior to everyone around me. It's impossible for me to have any self-confidence when I can't see anything good about myself, and when everyone else around me has everything I've never had but always wanted.

I never socially developed, so my level of social growth is stunted at age 12. I don't know how to talk to people, I don't know how to carry on a conversation, I don't even have any interest in talking to people face-to-face since I'm much more accustomed to the Internet. I'm about as charismatic as a rock and not witty or funny either.

Today in one of my college classes, the professor told us to discuss the day's topic with a classmate. The classmate I got paired up with was a pretty girl about my age. While we were talking about the topic, we learned that we had a couple things in common, and started talking about ourselves instead. There wasn't any interest or chemistry between us; it was just idle chatter because the topic was boring.

After we had talked for a while, she asked me what else I do for fun besides play video games, I couldn't think of anything to say. "Just video games," I said, and she looked terribly bored and uninterested. I asked her what she does for fun, and she listed a bunch of things that sounded horribly unexciting to me. Going to the theater, going to clubs, going to restaurants, going to the beach, a bunch of outdoor activities that were as far removed from video games as possible.

Until then, I had clung to a shred of hope that maybe, just maybe, I might find a girl one day who would like me, think I was appealing, endearing. But people like me are a very rare phenomenon – people who are only interested in one solitary activity, and have no interest whatsoever in leaving their home. No one wants to spend time with a person like that, unless they share their one interest – and even then, they're only good for one thing. It's not uncommon for me to spend at least 16 hours of my day playing video games. Other people only play for around 1 or 2 hours and then stop.

The girl tried to make conversation, but there was nothing for me to converse about. I don't have any interests, I don't have any hobbies, I don't have any passions, I don't have any fond memories, I don't have any important life experiences. I just have video games. I'm not interested in doing any of the things that other people do. And that's why I will never be appealing to any woman, and never have a friend who values me as anything more than a game partner.

I'm facing a decision. Do I search for a girl who is just like me? Just as lonely, awkward, and desperate as I am? Someone who will accept who I am, appreciate who I am, and love me for me?

But…There's no reason for anyone to love me. I have no value. I am nothing but an empty shell devoid of any interests, opinions, or experiences, beside video games. There's no reason to love a person who amounts to nothing but a sole hobby.

Is my only option to totally reinvent myself, rebuild myself from the ground up, make up for 8 years of complete inactivity by going out and doing all the things I missed out on? Because no girl could ever find me appealing the way I am now, will I have to change who I am until I am an appealing person?

That's easier said than done. I've spent the last 8 years living the same day over and over. My life is stable and secure and has been the same for as far back as I can remember. I don't want to change it. I don't want to introduce new things. This life is the only life I've ever known. I can't adapt to a completely new lifestyle.

Think of it this way: What is your most firmly held belief? The thing you believe in the most, the thing you've believed in for as far back as you can remember? Now imagine someone tells you to stop believing in that thing. They want you to just take it and throw it out the window and start believing dozens of new things you've never believed in.

That's what people tell me to do. They tell me "Get out more!" But it's not that simple. I can't break a cycle that's lasted nearly a decade with a snap of my fingers. It would be scary, it would be unfamiliar, it would be unsafe. It would take some kind of major catastrophe that FORCES everything to change in order for me to feel compelled to change the comfortable, stable life I've been living for the past 8 years, the only life I know how to live.

Please help me, AnonTalk. What can I do?

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You don't have to change over night.
Take it one step at the time :)
You have plenty of time ;)

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I'm in a kind of similar bind, but totally different all the same…
Regardless of what has happened in your past, you can always move forward, even if that means taking a bit of a break from Video-games, to try something new like hanging out with a girl and her friends at a store or a theater.

Regardless, how I'm getting over this? As I think someone before me said 'one step at a time', I used to be a closet-game player, like always stuck in here, in my room, but now I'm getting out. I'm doing things with my family, I'm walking my dog a lot, and I'm moving in with a girlfriend in two months.

Things will work out, just have to watch them lay out infront of you, if you're trying…

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I'm a girl and I love video games. Do you have all the consoles?
I do stuff outside of the house, but just because I have to. I'd rather stay at home and play God of War.
So, have no fear - there are girls like you.

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Since you like videogames so much, maybe you can use that to gain more interests. Maybe try to do alot more computer stuff in general, maybe you can learn how to build awesome computers for gaming and become more of a tech geek to at least gain some more things to do and talk about…

Starting to go out is also a good idea, even if you start out by your self. Seeing a movie by your self is a great start, because its fairly solitary and gets you out of the house.

Try and find guys who are big into videogames for people to hang out with first as well. This was you can go out and do things with people with similar interests, but at the end of the day still be able to play video games.

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I met a woman who likes video games. It was the main thing we had in common when we met. In fact almost the only thing. We usually spend at least four nights a week at home on different machines, playing video or computer games - not together, on separate machines!

I'm marrying her next month. We like a lot of similar stuff now, but three years ago it was just video games.

Trust me - there's hope!

(Though you may have to take her to a restaurant a few times to get to that point. But hey - surely you like eating?!)

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You are not an appealing human being because you are basically one dimensional. There's only one thing you care about, and that's video games. You aren't any different from the kids that are obsessed with sports and body building, or the kids that are obsessed with popularity and personal appearance. You're one in the same with those people, it's just that each of your are obsessed with different things.

To fix this problem, you need to expand your interests. Stop being one dimensional, and realize your human potential. Everyone is capable of so much more, but most will choose one or two things and stick with them throughout their lives. The goal is to be a well-rounded or full person. This quote sums up what I think:

> A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
- Robert Heinlein

Women are the least of your problems, ignore them for now. One-dimensional people aren't fun, don't go looking for one.

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You know what the solution to your problem is, but you bog yourself down with whining and excuses. "It's too hard, I can't change overnight!".

Recognizing your problem, realizing the solution to it, and then doing nothing at all about it is the height of human failure. You don't want to go outside? Fuck it, then don't. You want girls that are outside? FUCKING GO OUTSIDE THEN. Suck it up. Do you think people who succeed in things relish sacrificing their spare time/hobbies to accomplish their goals? Stop convincing yourself to be a fool.

Shit, buy a fucking DS. Take it with you when you go outside.

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I agree with 68054.

If you are only playing video games, then you are at the ass-end of the bell curve. There are many people who LOVE video games, but they also program and play tabletop games etc. so it broadens your horizons and allows for people on the outskirts of society such as yourself a better chance at finding you.

Think of it this way- everyone who is like you, as you are right now, are just as isolated and withdrawn. How would you even meet them unless you stumbled into their room somehow? Go to places where other people just like you meet up IRL… doesn't your school have a video games club?

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Boo Hoo. I realize I have problems, but I don't do anything about it. Boo Hoo.

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actually, i'm a girl and i'm quite shy. I hate when overly confident guys come over and start spouting loads of shit i don't care about and i don't really know what to say backeithert ..But i find it alot easier to talk to guys who are quite socially inept, because they're generally quite clever and although it sounds bad, there's less pressure on me to impress, so i'm much more relaxed and i usually have much more interesting conversations.. Which leads to me liking them anyway. And that'd be my number one thing in a guy, being able to talk to him… So don't worry!! (=

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I'd say you need a video game girl… but I feel like that's more of a patch solution to a bigger problem. I honestly think that if you take it one step at a time and work on improving your life above all else you'll naturally become the confident, socially adept man you were born to be.

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