I'm a 40 year old woman with 5 kids. I'm married and have a good job in the medical field but I'm just so bored with life. I'm not nearly as attractive as I used to be when I was younger. In fact, if I don't wear makeup, I look downright ugly. I constantly have kids to take care of and to shuttle back and forth. My husband helps out every now and then, but he doesn't do enough for me or the family. I don't know if I can really take this life anymore. I try to go on sites like these to see what you young people think and say. I wish that I could go back in time and relive my high school days. I'd be so much badder this time around. I'd have a lot more fun, drink more, and chill with some cute boys. But, then again, that will never happen and I know it. I'm old, ugly, depressed, and can't relive my past. It really sucks to be me.

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this is why i'm scared to age.

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take control of your own life. not everything in life has to be about beauty and sex.

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I'm tempted to call you mom since my mother is roughly the same age as you are. I'm in my early twenties.

The thing is us young folks are just as depressed and insecure as you might be. It's just the state of the world these days and there is little we can do about it. Youth by itself is nothing special. We are also bored, trust me. Especially if we seek something beyond trivial pleasures and current fads. All I can say is I can feel how you feel, but can't help in any way.

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Half your age, and I'd definitely hang out with a 40 year old if she wanted to hang out with people my age. Personally, I'd be flattered that she would rather chill with us than people her own age (and maturity level :P). Having someone older who I could be comfortable around like my close friends would be amazing.

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Start smoking weed. You'll feel like a kid all over again.

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hey OP, get real.

you have children. maybe you should have thought about all this before you had them.

i'm sorry, but your lot is cast.

the fact that you are as old as you are, and have the responsibilities you have, and are thinking about things like this is precisely why this country has problems.

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@68,360

Fa Chrissakes, she's just posting about what she thinks and feels. There are few women here, and even fewer adult women. I'm interested to hear what they have to say.

Most educated middle-aged women with families seem to agree on two points: (1) my husband doesn't do enough for the family, and (2) if I were young again, this time I would be "bad".

I'm interested in the specific facts regarding (1) — objectively, is your husband really that neglectful? With respect to (2), I just don't know what to say. The social norms for being a "good" girl are intended to ensure that you don't get knocked up and that you manage to land a decent husband with whom to start a family. Right now, you suggest that it wasn't worth it, but really, do you know how any of the "bad" girls from high school turned out? Maybe some are fine, but maybe some are starring in Faces of Meth.

I'm sorry that you didn't go into you youth with your eyes open, but then again, none of us did. This generation has a great advantage with the Internet, and even with forums such as this one. Kids can hear the honest thoughts and opinions (and insecurities) of older people about the world and about the relative meaningfulness of life experiences. The notion that older == wiser is really mostly bullshit, and the older I've gotten, the more I've realized that I haven't really learned much since I was 21.

Me? If I were a high school chick, I'd be a huge slut. I'd try to be as hot as possible (sorry, but that really matters a lot, and no amount of bitching about the unfairness of it can change it) in order to be able to coast by through school and college. I'd find some cool pot-smoking nerds to hang out with, and avoid the guys who are more like me IRL. I would definitely not waste the best years of my life trying to be "good".

If I could transport myself back in time to high school, well, in addition to pursuing my normal interests, I guess I'd just do what I find most fulfilling these days: fuck as many girls as possible (I'd just be a lot better at accomplishing that particular goal) and I would avoid getting into any serious relationships. Do not waste a significant part of your twenties in a relationship if you are male (unless you are damned positive that you have the perfect girl). I gave away six years that I should have spent screwing around and gained practically nothing from it, at the expense of enormous opportunity costs.

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I'd rather spend my high school years focused primarily on schoolwork on my future and friends/relationships as a secondary goal, so that when I grow up I can make something of myself.

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@68,375

Definitely a better idea than doing nothing at all. To an extent, that's what I did, and career-wise, I guess I'm technically very "successful" — I have a reasonably impressive job (impressive enough to get me laid, at least) and some kick-ass looking diplomas on the wall. I make decent money, I guess, but. . .

. . .I also have a shit-ton of debt. I won't actually be "wealthy" by anyone's standards until I'm about forty myself — the fact that I wear nice suits every day doesn't mean shit. After taking all of my expenses into account, I'm just above barely getting by. Several of the guys I grew up with fucked around in college — some dropped out, and many of them actually are wealthy (incomes in the $200k+ range), either from starting a small business, or working up from the ground floor in a company while I was studying in school. They don't have debt, either, and they own houses, and they'll be able to retire soon.

There's practically no risk-free way to get wealth, and studying hard is not a guarantor of it. Your only real choices for getting wealth out of academic diligence are (1) going to a top law school and competing, cutthroat style, for a top firm job, or (2) going to medical school and becoming a specialist.

(1) is not really a good option, because even though you think that you'd be willing to work 80+ hours a week in order to make tons of money, many (rational) people simply cannot. (2) is safer, but don't expect to be firmly in the black until you are close to forty years old.

If you want to make real money and you have real diligence, do it by creating a business and working at it. Also — this is key — don't get married early (at least if male) and do not have kids until you're satisfied with where you are. Personally, I'm at least glad that I managed to dodge those bullets so far — once you have kids, it is very difficult to actually get ahead, because your priorities must shift to your kids' interests instead of your own.

I guess that my point is that you only have one shot in life at being in college in your twenties, and it's a great time. Enjoy it and learn how to have fun day by day, and build up a set of awesome experiences to reflect upon when you get a little older and have to be part of the "grind". Have different lovers, do different things, and take advantage of opportunities to travel before you are saddled to a job / graduate school.

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16 year old female here
I don't really know what to say, this post made me sad :(
Get a babysitter for a night, go out, have some fun! My parents are older than you and they still go out.

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If your husband isn't doing enough for you and the family, you should say something. Granted, you'll need to be really nice about it so he doesn't get defensive, but if you ask nicely, he might be willing to do something about it. It is VERY possible that he has no idea he's not doing his part. If he is the provider, he may think that is his only role. Just talk to him about it. Communication and all that.

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OP try working out make it a routine maybe when you get fit you will look younger and be happier. Not all people are the same but it works for my mom and me maybe it will work for you. Another thing try and talk to your husband they way you feel.

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OP, I'm also a 40 year old female. Okay, 41.

However, and this may be due to the fact that I'm single and never had children and am still attractive, the last thing I want to do is go back in time and relive High School. Or to live through high school as it is now.

I have done some street mentoring of high school age teens and young people in their early 20's. Admittedly, all of them were kids in trouble, some of them are in violent street gang. They skip class, use drugs, get pregnant, fight, riot, carry firearms, and shoot each other.

I am thankful that when I was in high school, life was comparatively simple. We didn't have the Internet. We barely had computers. Be thankful that you have a husband and a family, and although they keep you busy, don't try and go back to a place you've already been. You wouldn't like high school now.

One piece of advice: If wearing makeup makes you attractive, wear makeup.

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Stop watching brainwashing on TV telling you that you need whiter teeth, smoother this, thinner that. Who gives a flying… Reject other people's opinions and create your own. You will be much happier and can focus on an awesome life with five kids! That's awesome!

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Well my friend's Moms are 40 something maybe even 50 and they are awesome. They smoke weed and drink with us. They even let us stay over if we get too drunk and let us have cigs. When they have problems we listen and try out best to help them out, I took care of my friend rooster's mom when she was sick the other week. When we have problems they listen and it helps a lot. So even if you think your getting old and don't think your able to have fun anymore then think again. It's really awesome when someone mature with some wisdom hangs around with us youngsters.

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