Hi. I'm 21 years old and I consider myself an anti-social person. Decent looking, but no self-esteem. Never had many friends, lost all of them over the years. I had trouble getting a real job after high school since i didn't know what i wanted to do with my life. I've been working as a grocery store clerk since two years, too afraid to look for another job since i'm used to it and been there enough time to get along with almost everyone. I don't need to tell you that i don't do anything else outside of the job, but i've been invited by some of my co-workers a few times, probably out of pity. The only problem is that they're much younger than me and I don't feel comfortable with them (immaturity), yet i don't seem to fit with people of my age. I also look like 16 so it doesn't help when i enter in a club/bar. But recently two ex-co-workers invited me independently on multiple occasions to go out but i declined their offers, either giving them poor excuses or thinking about it for too long before they leave to go pick up their friends. I feel bad everytime it happens, can only think about how wrong it would be for me to be with them, and what they're thinking about me when i tell them "Maybe next time".

So what would be the best: Go out with them and look like a fool in front of everyone, or just tell them that i hate going out and stay in front of my computer on a Saturday night?

• Spread
• Media
• Quote
• 157 visits

I have the same problem, I think

Whenever an offer comes by my natural reaction is "no"
Sometimes I don't even think about what is offered.

But when they nag enough and cant think of enough excuses and I do say yes…I notice that i really enjoy the time I'm having and i really don't want to leave from that event.

I cant figure out why I say no. Maybe its something from my childhood. Maybe its because im scared about things going wrong, whereas nothing would go wrong at home.

I don't know anon. From the comfort of where I'm sitting, I would advise you to go out with them. But if i were to be in your shoes, it would be a different story.

• Quote
• Cite

Ok thanks for the reply anon

• Quote
• Cite

maybe it's because you are what we refer to as LOSERS

if someone invites you out, take up a new rule, where if you would normally say "no" to something, say "yes"

you'll see where it gets you

• Quote
• Cite

Yeah, I do the same thing. I just instinctively decline offers to do shit because I'd rather stick to what's familiar. Parties sound especially stressful because you're supposed to somehow have fun simply by interacting with other people. It's not that I don't like talking to people; I just don't see how one can spend an entire night talking to people and still have fun. In any case, I'd rather just be alone that have to think about that shit.

In the long run, though, I'd like to talk to people, have fun, get laid, drink, and be merry, so a couple of weeks ago I decided to do basically what the above Anon recommended—just go wherever the hell I'm invited whether I like it or not. I haven't been invited out anywhere since then, but it's just a matter of time. If anyone tries this (or has tried it before), I'm interested in hearing about it.

• Quote
• Cite

hey! how about saying yes every once in a while?
if you are tired of your own surroundings and wouldnt mind changing them.
just try a little harder.
hell who knows who you might meet everytime you go out.
chances are normally no one. but who knows!

• Quote
• Cite

> I just don't see how one can spend an entire night talking to people and still have fun.
Probably because you talk to idiots on a daily basis or something. A meaningful conversation with a bunch of people is great fun if you've found the right people.

Like the other anon, I find that whenever I'm invited out when I don't feel like going out, I end up having more fun than if I stayed home. You should just say yes one of these days and see for yourself.

> Go out with them and look like a fool in front of everyone, or just tell them that i hate going out and stay in front of my computer on a Saturday night?
There's a third option, which is "go out with them and enjoy yourself." Christ, don't make judgments like that about things you've never experienced before. By doing that, you're setting yourself up for a boring, mediocre ride to the grave.

• Quote
• Cite