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Topic: Noticed an amazingly cute boy in my lectures.

Anonymous da0871225cc15d5efc2ad0e152298886 started this discussion 1 month (2008-10-13 20:31:57 UTC) ago:

(I'm a guy, too.) He's adorable. Based on stereotypes he could be gay too because he acts pretty femininely. The problem is that I pretty much always go to lectures with my (somewhat homophobic) best friend there beside me, I don't know how to start conversation with this cutie let alone find out if he's gay, and trying to do so with my best friend there must be impossible. Any advice? >.<

Anonymous a55e93f92560bcaedd2517f9d826f522 replied with this 1 month (2008-10-13 21:01:28 UTC) ago, 30 minutes later (#69,355):

Smile at him. If he smiles back at you, notice some article of clothing he has on that you truly like and approach him. Say something like “Hi, I’m [your name]. I really like that [article of clothing]. In fact, I’ve noticed you always seem well dressed. Perhaps I could buy you a cup of coffee and you could give me a few tips?” And when you go to coffee, don’t bring your best friend. At coffee you could even mention that you find living up to the pressure of being a well dressed gay man really hard.

Anonymous df7eb918200804eeb2498ba29ccecd9b replied with this 1 month (2008-10-13 21:14:43 UTC) ago, 13 minutes later (#69,359):

If you think there is even a remote possibility of something sparking between you two, then you should go for it. Otherwise it'll just be a lost opportunity and you'll be filled with regret later on down the line. So I agree with what the above poster has said. Find better friends.

Anonymous 620c99d99c60af5eb36479f48910c679 replied with this 1 month (2008-10-13 21:39:13 UTC) ago, 25 minutes later (#69,377):

@69,355

Just wanted to say that that's great advice!

Anonymous da0871225cc15d5efc2ad0e152298886 (OP) replied with this 1 month (2008-10-13 22:01:07 UTC) ago, 22 minutes later (#69,393):

@69,355

That's pretty weird. I don't even notice what he's wearing. He just looks cute himself! He's probably wearing something pretty plain… And I don't want to sound like a fashion designer. Besides, its hard to find a chance to talk to him, which is my bigger problem. And I hate coffee :P

Anonymous 7e823f9b5421383c88029779bff9ff8f replied with this 1 month (2008-10-13 22:04:11 UTC) ago, 3 minutes later (#69,396):

Wait.
Your gay and your best friend is a homophobe o_0.
Anyone else find that weird?

Anonymous da0871225cc15d5efc2ad0e152298886 (OP) replied with this 1 month (2008-10-13 22:15:14 UTC) ago, 11 minutes later (#69,399):

@69,396

Okay, this is a simplification of my life for the purpose of this thread. I could give you a whole detailed explanation but no one would care :P

Anonymous 3ef28426a74ba01809b010b86cda9654 replied with this 1 month (2008-10-13 22:32:32 UTC) ago, 17 minutes later (#69,404):

He's probably just emo, scene, or whatever fads you kids are doing these days and would be greatly offended if you assumed he was gay.

Anonymous da0871225cc15d5efc2ad0e152298886 (OP) replied with this 1 month (2008-10-13 22:34:17 UTC) ago, 2 minutes later (#69,405):

@69,404

No. He's not following a trend.

Anonymous b3241510977db12e114e71c4b2523339 replied with this 1 month (2008-10-14 00:09:03 UTC) ago, 2 hours later (#69,450):

Maybe kick things off by telling your "best friend" that you are bisexual next time he says something out of line. Why should you have to put up with his ignorance?

Either way, don't let it slip by. Try and put yourself near him so you can talk to him. Maybe the second time you talk to him say something like "this is gonna sound pretty weird, but I think you're cute". Give him a piece of paper with your phone number on it. Maybe he's always wanted to try something with a guy and he will choose you.

Don't let it drag on for three years (or however long you're at college). You'll become infatuated and regret it when it's all over.

Then again, perhaps you could befriend him and leave it at that.

Anonymous ae9341dd31d3d62d4eb2f72ac75974f1 replied with this 1 month (2008-10-14 00:23:26 UTC) ago, 14 minutes later (#69,464):

@69,450
> Don't let it drag on for three years (or however long you're at college). You'll become infatuated and regret it when it's all over.

Fuck :( That's me
I got 4 weeks left and im infatuated, never spoke to him. Its going to be over soon
Im so depressed over this

Anonymous 8a1d44c148a619dacd4906420721b3b2 replied with this 1 month (2008-10-14 07:36:37 UTC) ago, 7 hours later (#69,653):

Fucking talk to him, faggot

Anonymous ef32def466577b67a2cc8273ca2d01ef replied with this 1 month (2008-10-14 09:00:08 UTC) ago, 1 hour later (#69,706):

@69,464

Man that happened to me too. Cutest boy in one of my classes and I never got the nerve to talk to him. In a school of 20,000 I know I'll never see him again.

But as for OP, the only thing you have in common is that you're in the same class and you may or may not have a fancy for boys. So strike up a fake excuse to see him out of class on the pretense of a study session of some sort. Maybe you schedule it on the night your friend has basketball practice. Too bad, he'll get the notes later. ;)

Anonymous da0871225cc15d5efc2ad0e152298886 (OP) replied with this 1 month (2008-10-14 12:40:32 UTC) ago, 4 hours later (#69,790):

Do you think that if I ask if he's gay straight away he'll be too taken aback?

What if I wink at him? Will it seem creepy/mocking?

Anonymous ae9341dd31d3d62d4eb2f72ac75974f1 replied with this 1 month (2008-10-14 14:34:41 UTC) ago, 2 hours later (#69,876):

@69,790

Put yourself in his shoes as a gay person and as a straight person

I was the guy who posted up there about the infatuation. I put myself in the guys shoes as a straight person. I really didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable infront of me and infront of his friends.

Even if i found out he was gay. I wouldn't pursue anything. I don't have the courage or will power to go through with a gay marriage. Id suck him and that would be it. Ill live the rest of my life with regrets on why I did that.

But now im living my life regretting not knowing the answer. So I'm screwed either way. Fuck why do some guys have to be so fucking cute

Anonymous b3241510977db12e114e71c4b2523339 replied with this 1 month (2008-10-14 14:50:04 UTC) ago, 15 minutes later (#69,883):

@69,790

Asking if someone is gay is a terrible question if they're not out. It implies that you want to have an open relationship, something they're probably not ready for. They could also be worried you're teasing them. Have a short conversation with him, then tell him you think he's cute. It says everything and leaves a bit of mystery. He then knows what you think about him, and you can take it as slow as you like from then on.

Even if you get nowhere, you should try your best and be proud that you did.

Anonymous c1bd3ab1bed7b7ae4c6142d19bc9e9fd replied with this 1 month (2008-10-16 01:43:58 UTC) ago, 1 day later (#70,611):

Somewhat off-topic, but I wanted to comment that as a purely heterosexual male, I've found this thread to be an interesting read.

I'm always been somewhat jealous of gay guys. In fact, I've practically wished that I were gay. I spent an enormous amount of time and money chasing pussy when I was in college, and it seemed to me that if I were gay, I could just hook up with randoms every night for free, instead of spending $30 on drinks and leading some chick on with false pretenses so that I could fuck her (which is stressful).

This thread is sort-of challenging my opinion on it. I just assumed that gay guys really did have "gaydar" and just automatically recognized each other, despite evidence to the contrary (I've had gay guys hit on me a few times, even though I dress indifferently and have relatively masculine mannerisms). So, gay college guys, is it true or not — if you wanted to get laid tonight with a random, could you just step out and get it done, or is there an element of expense and chance, as for us poor straight guys?

Anonymous a55e93f92560bcaedd2517f9d826f522 replied with this 1 month (2008-10-16 04:02:45 UTC) ago, 2 hours later (#70,650):

@70,611

I’m bi, but I find it a lot easier to pick up women. If I approach 15 guys, about 3 will be gay/bi. If I approach 15 women, about 12 will be straight/bi.

Anonymous da0871225cc15d5efc2ad0e152298886 (OP) replied with this 1 month (2008-10-16 10:27:49 UTC) ago, 6 hours later (#70,763):

@70,611

I think its easier to get laid. If I wanted to, I'd go to a night club. I want a boyfriend though, not sex; which is harder in some ways and easier in others. I think there's lots of stuff I don't have to worry about as a gay guy that I would have to as a straight guy (like friend-zoning) but the fact that most people I'm attracted to, outside of an all-gay environment like a gay bar, aren't even interested in my gender makes it hard :(

I've tried to make this response as cogent as possible, but it still seems like the grammar is falling apart somehow. I'm sorry, I'm tired.

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