I broke up with my girlfriend, and after a few months of not talking, we are back to friends and talk daily. I got over it and now I'm dating another chick and things are going good but now all that i can think about is my ex. I even sent my new girlfriend a text message and accidentally called her by my ex's name. I feel like shit because i don't want to hurt the girl I'm with now, yet i have really no interest left in her. But my ex cheated on me and i swore i wouldn't go back and let something like that happen to me again and i don't even think my ex would want to get back together (shes likes another guy who is probably better then me). Half of me wants to drop what I'm doing and go back to her, but the other half remembers how bad it fucking hurt when i found out she was cheating. Some part of me still loves my ex, and i just want her to be happy, even if that means not being with me, but is there any way to help ease my pain??? i mean she talks to me about other guys shes interested in, so yesterday i got so annoyed i just got up and left class early. I don't really want to tell her how i feel because i don't want to stop talking to her again or make things awkward. shes like my best friend since middle school and was not only my first girlfriend, but the only one since Ive really felt "in love" with. My friends tell me to just stay away from her and "shes cheated on you once, and it will happen again". I cant really just disappear and avoid her because shes in almost all of my classes, so what else could i do? has anyone else been in this type of situation? any advice?

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I've been in your exact situation, with only a few modifiers, and here's something I've noticed.

You'll either come to really love or loathe the girl you're with now. Time is what will tell; if you find yourself leaning toward the latter, you need to get out of the relationship for the girl's sake, but no matter what you do, do not go back to the first girl. I know how hard it's going to be, but believe me, do not under any circumstances go back to her. It will only serve to crush you further, and she'll know exactly how much control she has over you. If you really need the companionship, look to other women. Good luck, and we'll be here for you if you need us.

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Just tell you ex that your not interested in hearing about other guys since what happened. As for your new girlfriend you should probably be more careful about the name because in almost positive you haven't heard the last of that unless that happened awhile ago. And it would be entirely unfair to just leave your gf for your old one in that it'd be almost the same, but overall it's about you not anyone else. Hope that helped.

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I think the posts here are generally accurate. Don't go back to your ex-girlfriend, you will only come off as a pussy. But, if you're in a relationship where you find that you are not enjoying the other person, you need to get out. Seriously, don't waste time. Put effort forth in finding someone who you could connect with on a deeper level than you could with your ex.

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OK, well i left my current girlfriend. Like you guys said, its unfair to be with her if I've lost interest and i would hate for someone to string me along like that if i was in her position. I plan on telling my ex that i don't want to hear about her "guy interests, etc" because its awkward for me, but what else could i do to get myself to stop feeling like this? i mean, this girl and i were best friends for years before we tried dating, and was and still is the only girl i felt comfortable saying "i love you" to (which is something i have a real trouble saying to people in general, even family members). I don't really want another relationship with her because of what she did to me…. but i would like to know if she still has any feelings for me or is feeling the same as me. I just really want a way to stop lusting (I'm not sure if that's the best word) after her and just be back to the way it was before. Anyone have any ideas on how to do this? or anyone gone through something similar and found a way to get back to friends?

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@70,329

Unfortunately, having just come out of that kind of situation, I'm not quite sure myself how to get over it.

Well, I might, I just haven't implemented it yet.

Neill Strauss is right about a lot of things, and I don't remember where he said this, (I think it was the game,) but he mentioned that the only way to get over "One-itis" (what you and I are feeling) is to go out and be with more women. Apparently surrounding yourself with women will center yourself and make you realize exactly how much you're worth, and that you really don't need the girl who doesn't see your value.

I haven't applied that yet, but in a lot of ways, I know it's right. Here's to getting over lost love.

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@70,619

I hear what you're saying. Ive tried going out with different girls, but i guess just not enough to get over her…. but thanks for the input, i feel better knowing there is others feeling the same way as i am.

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@70,635

I don't think it's the going out with other girls that does it; I think its surrounding yourself with attention. If you can prove to yourself that you don't need her, and that you're perfectly valid on your own, you'll move past her very quickly.

At least that's what I think right now, and would be applying if I wasn't stuck at home at the moment.

But yeah, you're right. It's nice to know that there are others out there with the same problems you have right? Kind of like someone has your back.

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Does she have your V-card?

If so then your probably gonna always have some feelings for her. Just don't stress on chicks man, jerking off till you find the right one is way better then trying to fill the void with chicks you don't have chemistry with.

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