Topic: Girl help? Yes i know im unoriginal

Anonymous b93b4d01f74325e2cbf2369eab073b01 started this discussion 1 month (2008-10-15 19:57:49 UTC) ago:

So anon, here is the story…

So I had seen this cute girl a couple of times in the hall. I didn't know anything about her, not even her name. One day she decides to add me on facebook, I of course accept and send her a message saying "Hey, don't think I know you, but hey anyways :P". Something kind of like that, and we talk a little bit over facebook. She is a freshman and I'm a junior. So I think I kind of like her and I don't have any idea how to move things along…Ive never spoken to her in real life, and its not like i have any classes with her or anything considering she is a freshman. I cant get the courage to talk to her in person, i don't know what i would say =/.

Just any help on what to do would be nice, i just don't know how to "flirt" with girls in general, I'm also very shy. I have friends that are girls but i just treat them as friends, so not much experience in flirting or w/e.

Yes I realize I'm a scrub, just please help if you can.

Anonymous 6a49492b49432f9167bbc0477a997c5f replied with this 1 month (2008-10-15 20:23:32 UTC) ago, 26 minutes later (#70,494):

if i was in your position i would first just keep trying to talk to her over face book or whatever. The more you talk to her, even if its over the internet, the more you will get comfortable around her. Then you could gradually work in ways to see her outside of school or the internet. After you've been talking for a bit, give her your aim or your cell number and tell her to call you, just make up some bullshit like "i don't like talking to people over the computer". Then after you are a little more comfortable talking to her, just ask her out. But don't take too long doing all this or you'll miss the opportunity or end up in the dreaded "friend zone". In my experiences, the internet is a great way to talk to some girls because you don't have to worry about your body language, but just what you say; I'm a VERY shy person, but by getting to know a person without meeting face to face, you become much more comfortable when you are around them. Good luck, let us know how it goes

Anonymous b93b4d01f74325e2cbf2369eab073b01 (OP) replied with this 1 month (2008-10-15 20:58:03 UTC) ago, 35 minutes later (#70,507):

@70,494

> if i was in your position i would first just keep trying to talk to her over face book or whatever.

Thank you for the advice, the only problem is that she doesn't use facebook all that much anymore, she only gets on like once every couple of days so it makes it a bit more difficult…

Anonymous 3f2db96aa88eed7e6b4261a9540343b9 replied with this 1 month (2008-10-15 21:27:40 UTC) ago, 30 minutes later (#70,510):

Just leave her another message on Facebook but this time, ask if she would like to meet you for lunch

Anonymous 6fbe311a6a44eb1d411fd8dfce81a20a replied with this 1 month (2008-10-15 23:08:16 UTC) ago, 2 hours later (#70,548):

@70,510

I second this. You don't have many opportunities to see her, so take one and do great with it.

Anonymous 6a49492b49432f9167bbc0477a997c5f replied with this 1 month (2008-10-16 00:11:06 UTC) ago, 1 hour later (#70,583):

ya, i agree with the previous posts, just leave a facebook message asking to hang out or just give her your number and talk over the phone, just do anything to keep talking to her and keep her wanting to talk to you.

Anonymous b93b4d01f74325e2cbf2369eab073b01 (OP) replied with this 1 month (2008-10-16 00:29:57 UTC) ago, 19 minutes later (#70,589):

You don't think this is a bit too blunt? We don't exactly know each other very well, we haven't even talked face to face, wouldn't asking her to lunch be a bit…much?

Anonymous 6fbe311a6a44eb1d411fd8dfce81a20a replied with this 1 month (2008-10-16 01:36:40 UTC) ago, 1 hour later (#70,610):

@70,589

Wait, you haven't even talked to her face to face, or even over the phone?

Anonymous b93b4d01f74325e2cbf2369eab073b01 (OP) replied with this 1 month (2008-10-16 01:54:08 UTC) ago, 17 minutes later (#70,615):

@70,610

Yes…As I said originally, just over facebook, I'm extremely shy… I just want to get to know her better and start to hang out, etc, than move on to asking her out.

I'm just so damn shy, I cant stand it…I never know what to say to people that I don't know very well and I freeze up.

Anonymous ea5cef94e655d570f2c7c123ae76b07f replied with this 1 month (2008-10-16 02:22:51 UTC) ago, 29 minutes later (#70,629):

If you just talk to someone, you may find something that the two of you can talk about. From there, you may find several somethings that you can talk about. If this happens, you just might find yourself having a conversation. I'm not going to guarantee it, but I feel like telling you that sometimes, it really happens. It'll be awkward, so learn to laugh at yourself. Awkwardness can be fun! Your girl just might have a few quirks too, maybe she has trouble starting conversations with strangers just like you do. Maybe she doesn't, but she's never found anyone open-minded enough to listen to what she has to say, yet still intelligent enough to have something to say back. You could be that lucky guy- empathy can get you a long way.
I say this because I was 17 and had never had a girlfriend. I met this girl who was 16, had never had a boyfriend, and had issues in her past and felt a need to make friends with everyone around her and tell them about her issues. Because of where I met her, we had plenty of time to just sit and talk in private. I was nervous at first, I guess she was, but we started off as friends and progressed slowly. I don't know, maybe I just got lucky, but it started getting more and more romantic. She would talk to me, and I would listen, and tell her she wasn't crazy, and when I had something to say, an opinion or an "I'm sorry that happened to you", I said it. I told her about my own shyness and lack of a social life. Somehow, we just got closer and closer as friends, and slowly fell in love. Over a few weeks, it led to hugging, cuddling, and one night I kissed her. That was one and a half years ago. We're still head-over-heels in love.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this:
Just try it- it might work.

Anonymous ea5cef94e655d570f2c7c123ae76b07f replied with this 1 month (2008-10-16 02:23:26 UTC) ago, 35 seconds later (#70,630):

A lot of the time you don't have to talk, just listen. Girls love talking.

Anonymous 57752e7c83e82a64b08395d638b49315 replied with this 1 month (2008-10-16 03:06:56 UTC) ago, 44 minutes later (#70,636):

I really think you should ask her to lunch. I've been in positions just like yours before and never done it, and I regret it so much. I'll make a pact with you: you ask her to lunch even though you're shy, and I'll do it the next time it happens to me, too.

And then we'll both have dates!

Anonymous b93b4d01f74325e2cbf2369eab073b01 (OP) replied with this 1 month (2008-10-16 03:29:15 UTC) ago, 22 minutes later (#70,642):

@70,636

Haha if only I was so confident to do so, I fear rejection, and I can just see it staring at me as I don't know her that well. I just don't want to like ask her to lunch than just give off this "creep" vibe, because we don't know each other that well…

Anonymous c84430bb98408326e7f897d78325fc42 replied with this 1 month (2008-10-16 04:51:04 UTC) ago, 1 hour later (#70,665):

Don't be afraid of rejection… embrace it. Sure, it sucks, but it's a part of life. Women can smell self-confidence, so to speak, and whenever you ask someone to do something with you, be assured that they will agree. If they don't? Play it off. "Hey, no problem. I just thought we could chat, and I find you interesting". Granted, that's a lame line, but the best ones come on the spot. If someone rejects you, simply learn from it or accept it.

You'll be OK. Just work on realizing that you ARE someone that is worth going to lunch or whatever with… the rest will work itself out. I used to be like you, and to some extent still am; I'm now married with 2 kids. Love yourself first, and others will follow. :)

Anonymous 1e9d6bca4df9550fa1fcea04a35c1f4d replied with this 1 month (2008-10-16 16:14:53 UTC) ago, 11 hours later (#70,828):

Asking her out for lunch is horrible advice.
Just "accidentally" bump into her and do some smalltalk - a few times.
Then, set some group activity (with more than just you) and invite her.

Anonymous b93b4d01f74325e2cbf2369eab073b01 (OP) replied with this 1 month (2008-10-16 21:04:37 UTC) ago, 5 hours later (#70,930):

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Topic: Girl help? Yes i know im unoriginal