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Topic: The social experiment.

Anonymous 7f1192b64afe04ac04192d7c29db48c3 started this discussion 2 months (2008-06-30 03:33:12 UTC) ago:

Hello there AT,

I have this idea. I am more or less full of ideas as most of you are I'm sure. But this one is certainly more captivating than most. Is there anything that prevents guys from asking a girl out the first time they talk? There is nothing there that prevents it, other than the social implications which may or may not exist, depending on your view. Persistence pays off in anything you try to achieve. So if one could limit the time invested in each opportunity for success, then you could essentially be streamlining your success rate due to the fact that the yes or no comes within the first conversation you two have. We know that all the small talk and crap is nice, but really it's just stalling. It's an elaborate mask for the true intentions of socializing with people of the opposite sex. Instead of waiting and investing a lot of time in something that may not succeed, why not get your answer within a couple minutes and minimize the time invested!

We also have to take a look at success rate. This is the major factor in this. Your guess is as good as mine. I do know that there are some people who may see the idea of bypassing all of the cat and mouse chase and getting down to it right away intriguing. I would consider my self a part of this minority. If a random girl approached me and struck up a conversation, I know that there has to be some physical attraction on her end. If after our "hows it goings?" she then proceeded to ask me out, I would comply if there was physical attraction on my end.

Maybe this is incorrect. It may easily never work. Never is a strong word though. What if it did work? The yes will happen eventually. The yes may actually come on the first attempt.

The dating concept is getting to know another person right? Most people that you talk to that are strangers to you, you'll never see again. But! If in that "hey hows it going?" conversation, you simply just ask what it is that you really want to say, what happens then?

Anon:Hey.
Girl:Hi.

Anon:How's it going?
Girl:Good and you?

Anon:Not too bad thanks. I'm *name*.
Girl:Hi I'm *name*.

Anon:Nice to meet you *name*.
Girl:Same to you.

Anon:Would you like to go out with me?
Girl:____

The last line is subject to change. Now that I think about it, that does seem even a bit blunt for my taste. Replacing the "Would you like to go out with me?" with "Hey if you're not doing anything later we could grab some drinks." seems more fitting in most situations. I get excited over these kinds of odd ideas. Where everything is much simpler than you and I think.

If we now take into account the time idea, it gets more linear. If you ask to socialize within the first conversation you are greatly decreasing the time invested in receiving your answer. Let's say that the conversation lasts two minutes. At the end of that two minutes, you have the yes or no. In most cases I'm assuming it's going to be a no. This is fine. If this person is a stranger to you then you'll probably never talk again. And that's where it would normally end. You say your "how's it goings?" and then you part ways wondering what could have been. If you get a concrete no, then you lost nothing. The result is the same as if you didn't ask, but you had a chance at a yes.

Even if the success rate is an abysmal 5%, 1 out of 20 times you'll get a yes. 20 conversations X 2 minutes per = 40 minutes.

40 minutes of invested time to get a date. Now I don't know if 5% is accurate at all. It may be 1%, it may be 30% and I'm totally clueless.

This "theory" would work for both men and women. You see someone you find attractive. Introduce your self, talk for a couple minutes, and then in the most convincing way possible, ask them out. It really seems too simple. If the yes is there, then you know there's interest. When you first look at someone and talk to them, if they were to ask you out, the answer has most likely been determined already. Whether it's yes or no, within the first few minutes, I think your mind is made up.

I'm new to the dating game.

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Anonymous acd1e15dee3cbc0668bc836fcac0f429 replied with this 2 months (2008-06-30 05:56:53 UTC) ago, 2 hours later (#29,643):

it's much less than 5%

Anonymous 1aff497a4ccb76dcff9164e4aab38968 replied with this 2 months (2008-06-30 11:47:24 UTC) ago, 6 hours later (#29,674):

@29,643

IMO somebody might go out with OP out of compassion once he's asked that 50 times and looks pathetic and grieve-stricken enough. If you really wanna go down that road, you should probably make a number of yourself. You know, something that sets you appart from all the other guys. Extreme sexual forwardness usually helps too.

Anonymous 7d318102dd113119ac902655c1455bcc replied with this 2 months (2008-06-30 13:53:28 UTC) ago, 2 hours later (#29,688):

In my opinion, it depends on how attractive you are in general what the percentage is. But if you are average or above average I'm sure it will be quite high, because saying no to someone is quite hard because there is a chance you could crush them emotionally.

Anonymous c8c74d5736320659c61126fd9382e34d replied with this 2 months (2008-06-30 14:59:31 UTC) ago, 1 hour later (#29,696):

We've all said this a hundred times, but go up to the girl, talk about something that you know she likes and then just ask her out. Understand this: women love and reward perseverance. Just because she says no, that doesn't mean much. It often means "Keep trying, I can't tell if you're really interested yet." If you don't know the girl and you're just wanting to date her because she's attractive, then by all means, start a quick conversation and then tell her, "Hey, you're really pretty (hot, cute, etc. - make it fit the girl), and I'd love to go out with you. When can I take you to _____ (the movies, dinner, concert, etc.) Girls love compliments and they usually like guys who are straight-forward. If they don't respond after 3 times, move on. You're wasting time you could be with another hot chick…

Anonymous 36464aabfd995ccf5f980d26c8d98f5d replied with this 2 months (2008-06-30 15:04:07 UTC) ago, 5 minutes later (#29,698):

@29,688

Pretty much. If you're some sort of hairy wildebeest your chances are more or less 0% no matter how many girls you ask, but just because you're not ugly doesn't mean girls won't say no. They'll just do it in a nicer way. This is a basic first impression social experiment, and the more attractive and confident you come off the more girls will say yes.

Anonymous c66f24325eefa4c6c4ea72827d818e98 replied with this 2 months (2008-07-02 05:18:30 UTC) ago, 2 days later (#30,063):

it works, and accounting that all relationships for me lead to sex: even at 5% for me means i pay less then 10$ for sex

Anonymous a9ca503429907bddcbcdcf4121d12b80 replied with this 2 months (2008-07-02 05:35:14 UTC) ago, 17 minutes later (#30,065):

jeez guys, you do know they have minds too?

it's MUCH less than 5% especially in this case

Anonymous b8a865f5011ee31dff4c98a4c9a3574e replied with this 2 months (2008-07-04 21:11:48 UTC) ago, 3 days later (#30,465):

Being that direct, without ANY small talk, the success rate would be very low, I would also suppose <5%.
Add a few lines of filler eg. 'you caught my attention', 'you interest me..' or something to that effect, in passing through a more normal conversation, making it clear you're interested and that you're interesting, then you'd be more successful. It doesn't have to be a lot, as long as you're sincere about wanting to know the person and dating them (which you should certainly be, anyway)

Anonymous 4b47e48522bdda6c0c0f5334fa0669f6 replied with this 2 months (2008-07-04 21:22:16 UTC) ago, 10 minutes later (#30,469):

I'm female and I approve of this post.

it's direct, honest, and even polite, to ask a woman out immediately , if that is the only reason you're talking to her.

I'd add, if she says no, don't waste your time trying to get a 'yes', it isn't going to happen.

otherwise, yeah, say hi, make chitchat, then ask. good advice.

Anonymous 85216eef4cb8e6cbf38b1a642e601e17 replied with this 2 months (2008-07-11 21:40:39 UTC) ago, 1 week later (#31,772):

If someone came on that quickly to me, I'm afraid my response would be "…Um… what?" They would have to be something really special ( which would have to show in those few moments, and a lot of it would have to be visual ) and I would still feel quite odd about it. Physical gets you to take notice in anyone, granted, but I'm not going to ask anyone out without chatting them up a bit unless it's one of those 'love at first sight' things, and that's likely all physical.

I can't see this making things anything but awkward to start, and you had better know how to follow through or else it will go from precarious to 'please go away you awkward, bold freak'

I'm a guy btw

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